15 mintues and three years ago

Three years ago, at 4:45, my brother passed away. On the one year anniversary my sisters and I were able to be together. I wish we were all together today. I find comfort in knowing where everyone is and I wish I could see them. (I also wish my two and four year old kids would stop fighting ie Josie stop screaming) my daughter with the bright red hair that Donn will never get to meet. He didn't meet the last three babies brought into this family and just know that he would have loved them all but I know special comments would be saved for Josie and her red hair. Well I seriously need to go see what my son is doing to his sister to make her sooooooo upset. Inevitably it involves her very special pair of opurple fancy flip flops....thank you aunti sha sha....

Donn David

I am sitting at my sister twyla's house. I was supposed to be in PA at a wedding (congrats to Christopher and Beq...I love you very very much) I have been bummed about not getting to the wedding but on the flip side, since I am not in PA I get to attend our family party for three very special graduates. Jordan Twyla, Cerise Hallie and Luke Lyle......all of them safely made it through their highschool years and we get to celebrate together as a family. Well I can't help but let my mind wander to Donn David. He was so adamant about family getting together. He loved it and was usually the last one to leave and he had the farthest to drive. He never wanted these times to end. I wonder if for some reason it was in his genetic buildup that knowledge to stay with family as long as you can for it will never be the same again. I am looking at a picture of him getting his beard trimmed by my sister Kelly. It's a sweet picture but one that makes me cry. He went through so much to try to live and he died. Swelling, pain, conciousness, sight, smell, touch. If he was not going to be able smell the sweet breath of his daughter or the smell of wife than why are we able to experience these things in the first place.

I wonder if this is my vain attempt at minimizing the regret I feel for how little I was able to help Donn through this. For four years, actually for over 20 years we took care of my father but the last 4 years were 24 hour care and I never once struggled. I considered it an honor to lay him to bed at night knowing he was cared for. I felt like every time I put fresh socks on him or a new shirt, somehow Daddy knew he was still loved, we still wanted him to look good and that he was so very important to us. I took such great pride in being his daughter and being part of this family who could come together and care for him.

I couldn't do this for Donn. If I saw someone helping him up or washing his face, I turned away. I didn't want to face the fact that he needed my help. I'm angry!!! I want him here, I want his strength back and his beauty back here on earth. It being gone has left such an unfillable space in our family.

Somebody once said to my sister Kelly, "And to think, if he was given the chance to come back now that he has seen heaven, he wouldn't come." This statement brings me an insane amount of comfort. It is my selfishness that wants him back. My own sense of sorrow warps my way of thinking into believing that him here is best. Here is not best. Heaven is best for him. I just can't wait to see that handsome freckled face of his again. Heaven is will be the best for both of us some day.

So I have totally rambled. Donn David has been on my mind a lot lately, probably because of the perfectly cloudless days we have been having. I'm gonna stop rambling now and just say that I love my family here and in heaven and I know I will continue to struggle with sorrow but my faith, my family and my friends are always here for me and I love you all.......

Fryeburg Academy....Class "B" State Champs....

My neice Cerise (Reesee Cup) plays for the Fryeburg academy softball team and they won the Class "B" State Championship yesterday....this is her senior year and what a great way to end her highschool.....Yeahhhhh for them.....

Fun around Myah's....a little messed up and confusing but hey....what can I say....that's me

Marla Parla and I ....

Blade Edward
Gracie Belle
Gage and his boogers......they are good friends

Alright....so Michelle....gracie's mom....and I were talking one day and i was reminiscing about two turtles my old roommate Beq and I had gotten in China Town....I did love those turtles and miss them and I said that to Michelle....well, the next day, she was on her way here and found "Cappy" crossing the road and brought him home for me.....well, needless to say, I don't have pond water readily accessible for his survival so he had to go back but I love that she thought of me and my love for turtles.....

Josie not quite sure what to think......

"Cappy" safe place to ride.....remember....don't hold a turtle until you know if they are snapping turtle or not.....
Since Cappy wouldn't get into the bucket.....Josie tried it out for size....
Landonn didn't want to get too close....

Hunter....takin' it all in.....

Gracie and her mumma.....

Michelle and her new, never to be forgotten, one and only pet turtle....for two hours......



Lesson learned....wait....lessons......turtles are still adorable, friends surprise you every day.....and, glenn, you just wait until she can get her hands on a duck.....

Blade and his googles....I love love love this picture of him.....

So, playdate= a couch full of kids and a shot of Marla's boobies.....
Not everyone got a bath but these too sure got clean....

Reesee-Cup's Graduation

Last Sunday Hale Bennett and I headed over to Fryeburg to Cerise's graduation from Fryeburg Academy (i now know why the founder's put frye in the name of their town...they must have founded the place in June....what a scorcher of a day).....What a proud day.....she is such a great example to her cousin's.....great in academics, sports, and being an all around student....her friends and teachers came out and showed such great support for her....She was awarded three awards from the school committee......


Cerise and Nunni Twy.....Twyla shooed Hallie out of the kitchen and took over the food during her party.....she is such a great sister....and aunti

Cerise and I

Cerise getting her diploma or an award, I honestly can't remember

Cerise fanning herself.....have I mentioned how hot it was????!!!?!?!?!

Mum didn't make it to the graduation ceremony but she made it down to Todd and Hallie's for the party.....I love her and miss her

Twy and Mum

Reese's cake....all I can say is watch out for young girl's and wiffle ball bats....It left a mark!!!!

A county girl livin' in town

This is a picture of Landonn with his train whistle. Even after a year the train is a source of excitement around our house.

This is Daddy and Landonn watching the train. I took this picture just a couple days after moving into our home.

Landonn and Jaeda enjoying a splash in our new back yard.

Josie enjoying her first swing in our new willow tree.

Our house!!!

My husband and I have had the absolute pleasure of owning this house in Thomaston for a year. I never thought that a girl from Moosetown would love a home in the middle of town. It seems that when I need those quiet moments to enjoy the peace of nature, it doesn't matter where I am. Our willow tree sounds just as beautiful on our in town lot as it would on a dead end road with no neighbors. Our neighbors maple leaves blow in the wind and sing the same lullaby in her yard as it would on a fifty acre wooded lot. I am so thankful for our home and I know this is the home God intended for us to have. I want to say thank you to Him, Bill and Betty and all our neighbors who have helped make this year so much fun.

We are truly blessed!!!!

Spring Has Sprung...Fun has begun

We took advantage of not having a lot of kids right off this morning and headed out to the park. We got donuts on our way there and we had a wonderful morning. The bugs aren't out yet. The river is a bit high and scary but we stayed away from it. Landonn learned the hard way to not leave his donut on the table because seagulls will get it.

The donut eating seagulls....

Flowers for mumma!!!!